The Narcissist in Your Life is Dead

 Executor to a Narcissist

When the Narcissist in your life dies and you are made executor it will be difficult to mourn because embarrassingly, relief and not grief will be your emotion. This forbidden truth will prevent you from sharing your feelings like my reoccurring nightmare that my father came back to life. He suffered from traits of narcissism. Relieving the night terror by waking up and only feeling comfortable sharing with my wife.

Warning

  Life insurance agents make bad lawyers but here are my thoughts. As executor a further issue is the complexities laid at your feet in the will and preparing to accept the negative intent you’re going to read is an uncertain path. Narcissists get worse as they get older.  Expect to see deliberate abuse, creating estate and probate issues. The conditions for the narcissist love will be a written gut punch. There’ll be nasty legal surprises both excluded and included.

The Right Questions

Warren Buffett said that the worst time to read a will is after the person dies because you can’t ask questions to clarify their intentions. This is compounded by narcissistic secrects, a final triangulation favoring the golden child and abusing the scapegoat like requiring you to give the incidental heirloom you wanted to a flying monkey who could care less.

It’s a trap. Demand to see the will. Take the chance they will have a final gaslighting moment by secretly removing you as executor. After the death of a narcissist, you can refuse to become the executor when you examine the will.  As a boundary you may want to decline to be executor while your narcissist is alive.